Rebound Relationship, Because of Love or Appropriate?

The end of a love relationship can indeed leave deep scars. To avoid feeling sad due to a breakup, some people might choose to have an affair with a new person. This relationship is usually called a rebound relationship.

A rebound relationship is a relationship that is established when you have just broken up or haven't moved on completely from your partner in the past. Relationships like this run the risk of being just an outlet and ending quickly. This is because rebound relationships tend not to be based on love.

These Causes and Characteristics of Relationship Rebound

Fear of living alone without a partner, not accustomed to feeling lonely, requiring the presence of someone who is always there beside you, and the desire to quickly forget the past with your ex, can be the reason you are stuck in a rebound relationship.

You might not realize it when you're in a rebound relationship. Well, some characteristics are typical of rebound relationships, namely:

1. Relationships are not serious

The main characteristic of a rebound relationship is the lack of seriousness and a clear commitment to it. This generally happens because a rebound relationship is only an outlet for disappointment due to the failure of the previous relationship. Unconsciously, you position your new lover as an escape.

When undergoing this relationship, you have no desire to bring this relationship to a more serious level, namely marriage. You just seem to play around for a short time, without wanting to build a household and become a married couple.

2. Often talk about ex-lovers

If you still imagine your ex-boyfriend, monitoring his social media, and even often comparing him with your new partner, it means that you haven't moved on completely.

No one is comfortable listening to their partner discusses ex-boyfriend, you know. If the former shadow continues to haunt your mind, it could be a sign that you still love him and have not been able to start a new relationship with someone else.

3. Not open and honest with each other

A healthy relationship will be established if you and your partner are always honest, open, and trust each other. Is not a couple is someone who deserves to be your heartfelt whatever the problem? Openness and honesty are 2 natural things you do when you are in a relationship with someone.

At the beginning of this relationship, you and your partner should explore each other's nature, not just keep it a secret. If you don't trust your partner and cover up a few things from him, this relationship might not last long.

4. Contact when you need it

How often do you contact your partner and ask him out on a date? If it is very rare and you are too ignorant, it could be that the relationship you are living right now is a rebound relationship.

Normally, couples who are just having a love affair will often meet, communicate, and date. But if this does not happen to you, chances are you are not really in love with your current lover.

5. Do not introduce your lover to your friends

When having an affair with someone, it's fitting for you to introduce him to your closest friends. However, if you feel embarrassed or refuse to introduce it to your friends and environment, this is usually a sign that you don't consider it important and don't want everyone to know you're dating.

6. Want to show off a new lover with an ex

People who are entangled in a rebound relationship are usually not fully recovered from the pain due to previous relationship failures. If you feel extreme pain after a breakup, there is a possibility you want to reciprocate that feeling to your ex, you know.

One way is to show off your new lover through social media or deliberately introduce it in front of your ex or close friends.

Adverse Impact of Rebound Relationship for Myself and Spouse

Naturally, if after a breakup you feel very depressed, disappointed, and angry. However, immediately establishing a relationship with a new person is not the right solution, especially if the above characteristics occur in your relationship with the new lover, maybe.

One study even revealed that most rebound relationships actually have a negative impact on themselves and also on new partners. The following are the possible effects on you and your new lover:

Impact on yourself

If you include people who are looking for an escape with a rebound relationship, you tend to be more vulnerable to:

• Experiencing dependence on someone, in this case, your new lover makes you less independent.
• Feeling too confident or narcissistic, which can have an impact on reducing empathy for your new lover or other people around you.
• Bury anger and disappointment, which unconsciously vent to a new lover

Impact on a new lover

Meanwhile, someone who is involved in a rebound relationship and realizes he is an escape will be more vulnerable to:

• Feeling afraid of rejection, failure, trust, and neglect.
• Feel worthless.
• Feeling unrequited love.
• Lost confidence.

In addition, the relationship rebound relationship can also make lovers manipulate one another. For example, your new lover may feel sorry for you, so that he will desperately help you to forget your ex and fulfill whatever you want so that you are not sad because he loves you so much.

You can also feel guilty with your feelings that are still fixated on the ex, so you try to pay for the mistake by obeying all kinds of demands of the new lover so that he does not feel nominated.

It's true, not all rebound relationships are a bad thing. In fact, this relationship can be an opportunity for people who are broken-hearted to be able to love someone new who wants to love him sincerely. However, a rebound relationship can only succeed if it is based on mutual trust and mutual respect.

Relationships based on negative feelings, such as jealousy, disappointment, and anger, as is the case with most rebound relationships, are unhealthy to live with and can harm both parties.

Instead of fostering a romantic relationship like a fairy tale to be able to move on, you can just be hurt again. Even more terrible, you can be disappointed with yourself for hurting someone, then trauma to open or build new relationships with others.

So, before you really move on and recover from previous wounds, it helps you fix your feelings until you feel ready to love and commit to new people.

If it feels very difficult to forget your ex, it never hurts you to consult with a psychologist to get the right solution to problems in you or your love relationship.

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